Friday, July 17, 2020

Decision making

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Should I blow the money or save it? Should I go to church? Decision-making is considered to be a significant variable to differentiate childhood from adulthood. I have dealt with situations where a single decision could deeply affect me or a group of people. Some of these were more serious than others, and my conscience directed the choices. In the past, I wouldn't take the time to evaluate consequences of my decisions. That Thursday afternoon made me think twice.


The midday sun blinded me through the van's open windows. Sweat softly trickled onto my tattered jersey as I fastened my shoulder pads. I hated rushing to football practice while adjusting my uniform in a car without air-conditioning. My closed eyelids now felt the perspiration from my forehead. When I was satisfied with the fitting of the oversized pads, I brought my hand to a saluting position and blinked my eyes open.


"I told you to get ready earlier," my mom pointed out. She was always fanatical about arriving everywhere on time.


"It's okay, practice doesn't start for another five minutes," I replied.


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I could care less about being late. I had received a second consecutive C on a test, and this time it was math, my easiest subject. Football had consumed a lot of my time this week and I was still adjusting to the higher demands of seventh grade. During the past years, my teachers had been considerate the first couple of weeks. I had another load of homework to complete that night.


"How was school?" she asked. "I noticed you were up late finishing that project."


"I think the teacher liked, it." I decided not to mention the test. The last thing I wanted was to be yelled at before a long practice.


"She must have if it took you that long," she suggested. "I'm glad you're getting your homework done."


"I just hope the next few months aren't like this. I have a lot to do tonight."


"Again?" She had that glare I had become accustomed to. I have learned that her dark brown eyes did a poor job of concealing her feelings. Even her reserved voice could disguise her deepest emotions, but I could read the uneasiness in those reflective eyes.


"Are you sure you want to continue with football, Randy? I've been worried about you a lot lately," she asked, glancing at me with questioning eyebrows.


I delayed my response. The thought of not participating in my favorite sport had not only been unimaginable, but it seemed unnatural. Ever since I tackled my first opponent at the age of eight, my passion for football had been constantly flourishing. It had more meaning to me than just an extracurricular activity. At times, I would somehow wake up willingly on a Monday at the thought of being able to put on the pads.


"I love football," I finally answered.


"I know you do. I just think a break from school at this time would benefit you."


"But I've always been able to play before."


"You're right, but this is a lot different. Seventh grade counts more towards high school. Besides, taking one season off wouldn't be such a drastic change. It's not like football will play a major part of your future life. On the other hand, if…" I zoned out as she continued to lecture. Her small lips moved without sound.


I couldn't understand why my mom, who had enrolled me into numerous sports and activities, was suddenly concerned about my capacity to take part in football. Maybe I was engulfed in stress from school but quitting football hadn't been an option. I began to think about achieving a high GPA the past years and goals I had for getting into a good high school. What could football offer me after high school anyway? I acknowledged the fact that my priorities would establish my future.


"… so if you want we could turn back home and you can sleep on it tonight," she added.


"Yeah, I guess that's best," I said with a sound of disappointment. My mom was a little taken back at my response. Even I was surprised with myself.


At the time I couldn't recognize the significance of my decision. My answer had indicated a mature judgment not driven by selfish desire. For once, I made the less favorable choice, perceiving the eventual outcomes. My grades reflected a greater dedication to schoolwork. The following two years, I signed up for football again with a greater ability to balance my schedule. I used the extra time I had to develop a better approach to academics and it paid off in the long run.


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